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London calling

You cant beat London at this time of year & last weekend we visited our wonderful capital city. We drove down to High Barnet with the intention of catching the tube into central London to avoid the congestion charge,the lack of parking & the anticipated traffic gridlock. The car park was surprisingly empty & we soon found out why-the bloody station was closed! We were directed to a bus that would take us to East Finchley where we could catch the tube into the city centre. On the train this journey would take 15 minutes-by bus it took nearly 2 hours! We had tickets to see the matinee performance of Grease & we finally made it into the West End with just minutes to spare before it started. We just had time to grab a quick burger at the busiest fast food joint ever before running into the theatre. Despite the fact I was sweating like a pig & suffering from indigestion I really enjoyed the show. It was a great production & the cast were superb.
Whilst we were inside the theatre- suspending our disbelief- it got dark outside. Now I know that's not exactly remarkable given that the sun had set, as it usually does, but the dramatic effect on our senses as we left the theatre was stunning. The Christmas lights were sparkling, the shops were packed,the noisy crowds were thronging and the pickpockets were anticipating record takings. The streets had been closed to traffic & it felt strangely liberating to walk up Regents Street in the middle of the road. The Christmas lights were fantastic although not very traditional. They looked like some strange molecular structure under a microscope. We slowly meandered up to Oxford Circus onto Oxford Street, occasionally fighting our way into shops then fighting our way out again. Eventually we grew tired of the crowds & turned into Wardour Street towards Soho. Its not so seedy now days which is a bit of a shame really - but even without prostitutes & peep booths it still retains a unique character. The rushed burgers were becoming a distant memory so we made our way to Chinatown where we had a beautiful feast. After an hour or so we rejoined the crowds, our bellies full & my wallet empty. We took a slow stroll to Covent Garden until fatigue & bleeding feet got the better of us & ignoring all the rickshaws ( as Alex said 'this is London not bleeding Bejing' ) we flagged a taxi down to help us locate our hotel. The driver seemed a little angry at first & drove like a mad man-throwing us about in the back of the cab. He calmed down after a bit and explained to us that four girls had just had 'skanked' him for a £5 fare-they refused to pay then run off. We made all the right sympathetic noises & he soon thawed. In fact he seemed more interested in talking to us than driving & insisted on telling us his life story. When we arrived at the Hotel he was genuinely reluctant to say goodbye to his new friends but I guess driving a cab must lonely sometimes. In a mad fit of seasonal goodwill & with total disregard for my overdraft, not only did I pay our fare, I also paid him for the previous delinquents who had enjoyed a free ride. I think we managed to restore his faith in the human race. Finally we said good night, crashed out in the Hotel & slept as if in a coma.





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Town full of yardies.....your just a town full of yardies


Lincoln City are one of the worst professional football teams in the country. They are currently second from bottom in division two (for those of you still uncomfortable with the metric system, centigrade and decimalisation - that's the old division Four). There is just one team below them, Wrexham, and their only one point behind with two games in hand! It was therefore a minor miracle when they held the (not so) mighty Nottingham Forest to a 1-1 draw in the first round of the F.A cup. Alright we are not talking about the Brian Clough version of Forest, winners of European cups etc but they are riding high in Division one (old division Three). They are pushing for promotion to The Championship (which used to be division two-look try to keep up I know its confusing!) so it was still quite an achievement by Lincoln. The second recent miracle was that the lads from work talked me into attending the reply in Nottingham on Wednesday night. We found parking near(ish) the ground and walked over a rusty iron bridge. We then walked under the rusty iron bridge, by some graffiti strewn arches and along side the bacteria filled, murky looking River Trent in total darkness. John described the environment as a ideal place for rapists and rats. Paul seemed to be re-living his 80's hooligan days by muttering about "ambushes" and "firms". When we reached The City Ground, we were all quite surprised to find a lovely, well lit, Stadium with all the facilities. Before we took our seats Richard & I both had a meat & potato pie with a pint. Gomez had a meat & potato pie with Three pints. Perversely we were a little disappointed as the pies were delicious and there seemed to be very little chance of getting traditional "football food poisoning". The seats offered a brilliant view of the very well maintained pitch. It was a beautiful clear and mild night. The away end was packed with 3000 eager Lincoln fans ready to witness a memorable occasion. Then the referee went and spoilt things by blowing the whistle to start the match. It soon became obvious that Lincoln were dreadful. They couldn't string two passes together,had no movement and refused to tackle. The keeper looked very nervous and the right back had perfected the art of running away every time the ball or a Forest player come within 20 yards of him. Needless to say Forest won the match 3-1 and to be honest it could of been 10-1. Apart from the Lincoln end, the ground was nearly empty although the Forest fans amazed us with their noisy vocal support. They had a wide repertoire of songs, some mentioning the legendary Brian Clough and others about how much they hated Derby. The only real bit of excitement was when City scored - how did that happen?!. Several thousand Lincoln fans celebrated by stretching their arms wide, pretending to be Aeroplanes,and singing the Dambusters theme! The other highlight was a Lincoln fans solo rendition of "your just a town full of Yardies". Beautiful!

and now a commercial break.....................

This is the infamous Norton Finance advert featuring Alex and I. It ran for a year and has just been replaced by an inferior campaign featuring people jumping hurdles. It was shown,very frequently, mostly on daytime TV in the midlands area. Believe it or not someone once stopped me in the street and asked if I was the man who takes his trousers off in the Norton advert. The other day, I was trying on some jackets in T.K.Maxx and a woman kept smiling at me, then burst into laughter. I must have looked uncomfortable because she apologised to me and explained that she had seen the advert and found it amusing to see me trying on clothes!
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More money for old rope

We were pleased to welcome Alex's cousin Constantine (Cons) to our house on Sunday. Cons is one of the nicest, coolest and intelligent people on the planet. He's also mega talented and becomes an expert in anything that he turns his hand to. Theres nothing much to tell about his visit-basically we over indulged at an all you can eat Chinese buffet, came home and relaxed by watching music videos and farting. He had a lovely hot bath and slept like a baby. On Monday morning we woke him up, stuffed some more food into him and saw him on his way.
Cons has done many things in his life, chopping down trees, lobster fishing and newspaper journalism to name but a few. His latest vocation is mature student at the University College of London. Now I don't know how these things work in the wonderful world of Academia, but he is being paid to stay rent free in central London and study. He is having the time of his life. Cons has thrown himself into university social life with some vigor. This includes playing the harmonica in a Blue Brothers review and joining the swim team (He's an excellent swimmer). On Saturday he was taken to Sheffield to compete in a national swimming competition. After the meeting, Cons and the team decided to celebrate their existence and after many drinks, he could be seen covered in glowsticks, dancing like a maniac on a night club podium, shouting Umbrella....ella.....ella at the top of his voice. I asked him about his studies and, rather reluctantly I thought, he told me about Psychogeography. Evidently it "emerged as a conceptual term in 1955; its aim was to jolt urbanity's out of their humdrum utilitarian routines through radically re-conceiving urban spaces in an aim to bring about richer experiential states". A recent assignment consisted of asking random people in London if they knew the way to the Eiffel tower and recording there responses. So to summarise - He's being paid to live in one of the most exciting cities in the world. He's being paid to experience an exciting and varied social life. And furthermore his studies seem to consist of taking the piss out of people on the street. Fantastic- talk about money for old rope!

Take That

I don't want to give the impression that we spend our whole life going to concerts but on Thursday we went to see Take That at N.E.C Birmingham. A completely different experience to Tuesdays gig. It was pure theatre and dare I say a little Las Vegas. I'm not being derogatory.... this was an awesome event. Sharing the stage with the lads at various stages of the evening were a string quartet,lap dancers,fire,ticker tape and a huge black man - who looked like he had just wandered in from the James Bond film "live and let die"....voodoo scene. The lighting was fantastic, the green laser and dry ice show that accompanied "Rule The World" was truly breathtaking. Other highlights were the boys strolling down a virtual moving road to "Never Forget" and the Busby Berkley style encore "Shine". Also brilliant was the reworked "Re-light my fire"- the Lulu part was replaced with Gnarls Barclays "Crazy" sung by the extremely talented (previously mentioned) huge black man. Does anyone know his name? Another unforgettable highlight was when Jason sang "Wooden Boat". It was the first time he had sung it to a live audience and he got very emotional....ahhhh bless! Its hard to describe the character of the crowd but if you watch the new Boots advert "here come the girls", it will give you the general idea.">

My Chemical Romance!

Tuesday night saw the Family Peacock at Sheffield Arena to see "Emo" favourites, My Chemical Romance. For those of you who don't know what "Emo" means it refers to individuals, who feel that they don't belong to the mainstream. Wearing mainly dark clothing they sit in their bedrooms, feeling depressed and worrying about the world. Emos are extremely emotional (hence Emo) and care very deeply about things. Paradoxically they pretend to be emotionless and like to give the impression that they don't care about anything.....................in my day they were called teenagers! Speaking of teenagers one of the songs that got the really got The Mosh Pit rocking was "Teenagers (scare the living shit out of me)". Other crowd pleasers were "Black Parade", "Famous last words""Dead" and the very emotional (and surprisingly touching)"Cancer". OK I think you can see a theme but for all their emo posturing and angst ridden lyrics, My chemical Romance are actually an old fashioned rock band.....and a very good one to boot. So we had a really good time. I was probably the oldest person there but I still did some (very mild) headbanging. Even Alex was having a boogie until Yasmine told her off. Evidently her 70s disco style dancing was "embarrassing". Saffy also enjoyed herself, despite her basic error of listening to her Grannie and wearing a thermal vest to a rock concert-boy was it hot!
Click on the title "my chemical romance" to check them out and let me know what you think.

no idea

I have no idea what to write about-I think Ive got writers block. This week was pretty unremarkable and I haven't been inspired by anything. Alex & I did some TV work this week. Even that was unremarkable-we played guests at a posh party for Doctors (daytime TV). All we had to do was walk into the party, scope the room, see someone we recognised and look posh. I really cant think of anything else remotely interesting this week. But I feel obliged to my readers (there are about 3 of you!) to update my blog. If anyone could suggest an inspirational laxative to cure my creative constipation -then I'm open to ideas!

Fright night!

Saturday night saw our home transformed into a house of horror. It was decorated with Pumpkins and balloons. Horrific shrunken heads, red eyed vampires,spiders webs hung from the ceiling and thousands of gothic looking candles flickering! No it wasn't Alex's latest attempt at interior design but Yas and Saff's legendary annual Halloween party. Every year the girls invite their friends to be severely traumatised by all the spooky fun. As responsible adults we try to ensure that all the children are given lots of food, loads of hyper activity inducing sweets and candy. We then try to scare the living daylights out of them. Once we are satisfied that their sleep will be disrupted by vivid nightmares, for at least a week, we release them. Great fun!

Money for old rope

I have just finished filming an advert for this magnificent hotel. I had to sit around, drink cappuchinos, eat good food and generally enjoy the Hotels facilities whilst being filmed. The hotel was packed with loads of old people-one chap called it Gods waiting room! I never seen so many Zimmer frames in one place! I was really enjoying this job until someone pointed out that I had been selected for the advert because the target customers could identify with me. Again my fragile self esteem has taken a nosedive!

Chrysler sent to Coventry!

The Chrysler has now found a new home in Coventry. She was purchased by two wonderful Chinese men..Min and Tommy. They have a restaurant called The Golden Parlour and if your passing through Coventry just mention my name and my Chinese chums will look after you. Good luck Min and Tommy!

Swiss

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Mental

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Clinic?

Well what do you think of our refurbished bathroom? The blue LED lights add a rather dramatic ambience. Swiss mental clinic? I dont know - I never been in one. Ive never been inside a Cyprus brothel either but thats a whole different subject...eh Cons? Anyway I think it looks like a scene from Hostel or Saw but somehow I like it!





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Visually stunning!

Have just finished 3 days work as a peasant market trader on The Duchess.....and I'm NOT going to tell you anything about it!
The security on the film was very strict- No mobiles/cameras etc. On Monday The Sun printed a picture of Kiera Knightly, taken during filming. This caused a high state of paranoia amongst the cast and crew with the extras (rather unfairly) regarded as the main suspects. However I can tell from the angle and clarity of the picture, that it was taken with a tele-photo lens from an area behind the set. This area was divided from the action by a red and white tape and behind it stood members of the public, merrily clicking away on their cameras! ( call me Lieutenant Columbo!)
Obviously the producers dont want any information about this film to be leaked, so I'm going to respect their wishes. I have taken this decision not based on any moral grounds but selfishly to enhance my future employment prospects! I will say however that the set was visually stunning and Kiera Knightly was well...visually stunning!

Technophobic part two

Ok now I am getting really brave. I am attempting to post a picture by email via my mobile phone. If you can see a picture of my Volvo I am DEFINATELY a technological whizzkid. Imagine if this works-I can post photos from anywhere WHILST on the move. The possibilties are ENDLESS! If you cant see a picture then I am DEFINATELY a silly old prat!

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Technophobic

I was born in 1962 long before laptops,tv remote controls & microwaves were every day items. I am therefore a confirmed technophobe. I am attempting to post this blog by email VIA my mobile phone. WOW! If you can read this then it proves that despite my age I am a technological whizzkid. One small step for mankind one giant leap for Glen Peacock! If you cant read this-it proves Im just a stupid old prat!


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Revolting peasant

Well today was wierd....I left poor Alex alone to finish painting our newly refurbished bathroom - it looks like a cross between an abbatior and a swiss mental institute (more on this at a later date)and drove to London in the Volvo. It drove like a dream but unfortunately got all dirty in the torrential rain(arghhh!). Anyway I made my way to the old naval college in Greenwhich, where a big marquee had been erected in the grounds. Once inside this huge tent, a gay man, several lesbians and assorted wierdos made me take all my clothes off..........and dress like an 18th century peasant! OK prehaps I should explain. One of my other jobs is working in the film & T.V industry as a supporting artiste/extra. My London agency,maddog casting, decided to put me forward for a part as an 18th century market stallholder, in a film called The Duchess.The fact that my agent thinks I look like a revolting peasant doesnt do wonders for my self esteem but I should get 3 days work. The film stars Kiera Knightly and Ralph Fiennes and and the scene Im doing starts shooting Sunday. I must admit when the costume dept (who where very nice actually) had finished with me, I did look authentic (better than the halfwit in the picture!). Although its strictly against the rules I will try to post a piccy when I do the film.

spit and polish

In a mad moment of being sensible I bought an Volvo xc70. I had intended to update my Chrysler Voyager ever since it broke down and left us all stranded by a french motorway. So taking the bull by the horns I bought the Volvo from Johnny Goulding at trade price. I work as a part-time used car salesman for John-one of my many jobs. Anyway I now need to sell the Chrysler to help pay for the Volvo- so is anyone interested? I spent all day polishing & pampering her & now shes been advertised on Autotrader. Lets hope I find a good home for her!